Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Why I'm proud to be a Kansan

Ryan recently accepted a great job in our current city. Because I am that perfect wife, I was nothing but happy for him! Go Ryan!

Actually, I cried a lot. In truth, I wanted there to be no perfect job here. I wanted it to be in St Louis, where all of our family is.

(There is that dang rooster crowing again. Soundtrack to my day.)

I wanted to have my parents and sister near, both for their friendship and for their help with the girls. I wanted to have Ryan's parents near so that our girls could be close with all four of their grandparents. When Ryan told me about this job, my inner voice (okay, I am ashamed to say that the voice spoke up and vomited all over Ryan) said, "But I am the one cooped up at home! I need the help! You can work and get out of the house no matter where we live, but ME, I want to be free! I am dying in Kansas!" You should know that I am rolling my eyes as I type that drama out. I don't know how Ryan kept from laughing. Maybe it was my angry tears.

I wanted to be back in St Louis. In reality, though, when I was praying for a move to St Louis, I was limiting God. I was specifically asking for stability and meaningful relationships and joy in staying home. I thought St Louis would provide all of that, not God.

The very week Ryan took the job, we realized our tax return would be hefty. And as Ryan communicated with his then-current employer (who happens to be a very generous man) about his commissions, we realized God was dumping more money in our laps. Not only was Ryan being hired at a very fair wage, but we also found ourselves the recipients of more money than we had ever made, even when we had two salaries. I am only mentioning money (Barbara Bush would not approve) because that is the stability I had been praying for. I know financial stability is an oxymoron, but I am a moron.

Also that week, I was contacted by no fewer than three women who wanted to get together for playdates. I pursued a fellow stay-at-home mom, blind-date fashion, and that relationship has become a real source of joy to me. The meaningful relationships are ramping up here, all while I am maintaining the meaningful ones in St Louis and Denver, where my best friend has moved.

That leaves the joy. God has answered my prayers so thoroughly that I am moved. (No pun intended.) My husband is kind and funny and can bring me joy like no other adult can. My firstborn is the Queen of Sass and makes me laugh. And my sweet, precious baby is named after her aunt. Her middle name, Joy, was divined. That little girl has burst my heart wide open so many times that there is a constant ooze of delight. This joy has nothing to do with latitude and longitude but is found in my own family. If home is where the heart is, why on earth did I long to move?

And, of course, the source of true Joy can be found anywhere. He doesn't move or change. So, again, latitude and longitude find themselves to be irrelevant.

So my Reality has been expanded this month: God is generous, and He is loving. Especially in Kansas.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh I love this post and I love this blog! And I love you!!!!! Thank you for sharing it with me!